Faith In The System

I'm pretty sure I'm losing my faith in people. Okay, maybe not all people, but the company that I work for. I'm desperately trying to change jobs, but it's much harder than it seems. Long story short, I'm being given more responsibility without being compensated and things are being taken away from me. My boss has even been telling me how much he wants to get me promoted, but I'm starting to not believe anything I hear. If there is something that I've learned about myself its that I catch onto things very quickly. Give me a task and I will accomplish it. I'm not a sit back and wait kind of person. If I don't know something or understand a process, then I will make it my mission to ask questions until I do know. Of course, with all the work that I'm putting into this company it seems awfully ridiculous to not be working for myself. Time and time again I am disappointed in the company and the people that I work for. I am constantly let down as I tend to hold corporations and people to a higher standard than I probably should. In turn I am then let down when my working environment is not what I feel that it should be. I shouldn't let myself get so down about this kind of stuff, but I have a tendency to crash pretty hard. The question is: Why am I not working for myself?

Just A Notion

*sidebar: I had the idea for last Thursday's post earlier in the week and saved it to publish on Thursday. I forgot to change the date from the date I wrote it to the date I actually published it and it got buried in the other posts. Now, you can see it and I will appease Katie by posting a new one today. :)

I like to write in my journal on occasion, but it's not completely lateral. I paste pictures in it, journal, or draw in it (albeit terribly). But I wrote something that I thought was kind of humorous and ironic. Maybe this will help you a little bit to understand the functioning of my mind. Good luck.


I went to a counselor once who helped me with some note taking techniques. We tried different thought bubbles, but I find that to be messy and difficult to understand my notes. I guess outlining just stuck even when I don't actually use the right format. I used to keep everything indented. How does your brain work?

**Update: I changed a few things on my sidebar. You might want to check some of the blogs out that I follow because the pictures are gorgeous.

Thesaurus Thursday

When you read my blog you may notice some random thrilling words thrown into my writing. I cannot help myself when it comes to using "fun" words as I'm a paladin (look that one up!) for a wide vocabulary. I have a widget on my dashboard (if you're a mac user you'll understand what I'm talking about) called "Word of the Day" that I like to view most every day. Unfortunately, I rarely remember the words unless I immediately use them in a sentence and then do it repeatedly throughout the entire day. And probably the next couple of days. That seems like a lot of extra effort for just one word when I know there will be another new word the following day. The other resource I like to use to expand my writing vocabulary is my thesaurus widget on my dashboard. Of course, using this reminds me of one of my high school buddies. She and I used to get great pleasure from putting the final touches on her English papers because of this great thick reference book. She, I believe, has always taken great enjoyment from words. While I have always appreciated writing, I think she gave me an appreciate for words that I didn't realize I had until half way through college. Basically, every time I use my thesaurus and find a word that sparks my interest I think of her. She may no have these same colorful memories when she uses a thesaurus, but for me it will always be there.

Kinda Sutra

Okay, I happened to click on one of those advertisement links on Facebook and I came across this video. This is very funny to me because I'm sure many of us had some strange idea about where babies came from when we were children.

Kinda Sutra

How Did They Know?

I decided to find out my horoscope for today via Astrosage and this is what it had to say.

"Your frustration could ruin your health- if you keep thinking about past events- Try to relax as much as possible. Stick to your budget to avoid financial constraints. Don't force your opinion on friends and relatives as it may not go in your interest and you can make them annoyed unnecessarily. Someone may compliment you. Problems with servants- colleagues and co-workers cannot be ruled out. Shopping and other activities will keep you busy most of the day."

I would say that this is mostly accurate. Kind of scary. Of course, it isn't difficult for a horoscope to be accurate when things aren't exactly how you want them. Ah, well.

Of course, I am already trying to do what this horoscope is telling me will improve my quality of life. I'll update you some more on how that works out. ;) Happy Saturday!

Thankful Thursdays

So, instead of bitching about what kind of day I had today, I will convert this into a "Thankful Thursday" post. Thanks to all the bicycles that I had to lift off bike tiers I'm building up some nice muscle tone in my arms. How's that for a free workout? Now, If I could just figure out a way to tone my lower body at work...
(Amazon.com.2009. Amazon, inc. April 16, 2009. www.amazon.com)
In my spare time I'm delving more into the book The Gentle Art of Domesticity by Jane Brocket. I got this book as a Christmas gift and I'm pretty sure I've fallen in love with it. It's the best book about leading a simple, artistic, domestic life that I've ever read. Of course, I haven't read a whole lot of books on this particular subject, but I can't get enough of them. The author of this book speaks intelligently and descriptively with a very unique writing style. I love the fact that many (or rather most) of the photographs in this book are taken by her. Looking at her photos by themselves is enough imagery, but add her illustrative descriptions and I feel like I'm taking the pictures myself and actually doing what she is doing. Everything has meaning and yet it is all so simplified. This bookis a must read. Please, check it out if you are at all interested in this kind of life. If you'd like a little taste of how she lives her life, then stop on by yarnstorm.

This probably feels like an advertisement for this particular book, but I absolutely love it. Ever day I try to get one step closer to living a simpler life and this book inspires me to do just that. It inspires me to make more, bake more, and live more. It also keeps my creativity going when I think I'm running out of it. It's not like I could ever actually run out of creativity, but I feel so stifled some times. I don't want to feel stifled anymore. I have kept to my scheduled Thursday blog time, so at least that's looking up. Once I get more comfortable with this then you'll see pictures of my own on here. Cool, huh?

I plan on using this blog as a future form of advertising, so I think it's good practice to do this weekly. I've actually been aching to blog for the past seven days. Woohoo! It's not that I've had earth shattering news or anything, but I just wanted to talk to all of you.

I appreciate you guys actually reading my blog. I've debated posting my blog link on Facebook, but I think I like knowing that only a few people are reading my thoughts right now. I mean, I want more people to know me and know where I'm coming from, but for now I'll take my small followers as they come. You guys rock! There are so many blogs out there that I love and I want to strive to be like some of them. Take a look at Soule Mama (My absolute FAVORITE blog ever), Tiny Happy, Tollipop, Applehead, and 3191. They are so visually stimulating and expressive that I have to visit these a few times a week just to satisfy my creative urges.

Thanks for stopping by today! Or Tomorrow!

Holy Bajoles

So I'm keeping my promise. I'm making my trivial blog post today. I was thinking about how the point of this blog is to reveal a little bit more about myself to those in cyberland, but to also share myself with my friends and family. However, in some ways this provides a little bit of a mask for myself. I still have a tendency to hide a bit behind my words and my pictures to keep from sharing too much. I'm hoping that in time I'll be able to open up completely on this here blog. I've already kept to my scheduled blog date. I'm going to try and blog every Thursday to start with. Once I get more comfortable and maybe even post more than once a week then I'll try to start adding some other form of media in here. That's my plan, Stan.

I really want to live in a house some day. That's all I've been thinking about recently. I've been thinking how I wish I didn't live in an apartment and I wish that I could run around a place that I could call my own. I absolutely hate temporary living and that's all I've been doing. I don't even have proper furniture to store and showcase my things. It drives me batty that I still have things in boxes and I have no place to put them. My mom suggested that I should just take the things out of the boxes and then turn the boxes upside down and drape some kind of cloth over them. I love that my mom was trying to help me out, but I pointed out to her what I'm going to point out to you. Just the thought of using boxes for furniture makes me feel less like an adult than I felt five years ago when I graduated from college. It's very aggravating to not feel stationary and secure at this point in my life. While I haven't read a lot of poetry in my life (and I know there is plenty out there), one particular poem always comes back to me when there are changes in life whether good or bad, easy or difficult, happy or sad.

The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood
and I-- I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Blogging Frenzy

Okay, I feel like I have a ton to blog about, but I never seem to blog. An amazing friend of mine reminded me that even if I feel something isn't blog worthy, my friends and family most likely will. She reminded me that even if my posts are minimal my friends want to be able to keep up with me regularly and this is a great medium for them to do that. I guess I'll start with what I've been up to.

I've been working like a crazy woman, though not as much as some people I know. I've made a lateral move in the store from Human Resources to Bike/Boys/Action/Girls/Dolls. To be honest I'm a bit relieved to relinquish my position. I'm glad to be on the floor because it gives me mobility and I can use my anal skills to organize things the way I like. I absolutely do not want to make a career out of this place, but recently I have been telling myself that I will do the best I can with what I have right now.

Also, I've been writing in my journal a lot more. Writing has always been an outlet for me (even more than crafting), so it feels great to be writing even in little bits here and there. It's kind of encouraging me to scrapbook in a weird way or collage rather. I can't help myself, but I love to cut and paste things on paper. ;)

My crafting has been minimal, but I've managed to squeak out a few things. I crocheted a barrel purse minus the icky flower, nasty handles, and the bright yellow color. Of course, I used some yarn that I had on hand and I'm pretty sure it could rival the nasty color factor, but I like it. Isn't that all that matters?

I celebrated my 27th birthday a couple of days ago. It is starting to make me feel very old to say that. I know I may look younger than I actually am, but I'm now in my LATE 20s and that's just crazy. I didn't really do much to celebrate, but I think that was just perfect.

I just wanted to shout out to everyone and thank them for support in recent months and for reading my blog. Hopefully, you guys will continue to read and I'll continue to post. I'm setting an alarm on my computer right now so I will post weekly at first.