Monday, April 30, 2007


I know, I'm punny. Realy punny. I'm guessing this picture was taken when I was a freshman in college or something. I remember wearing this shirt, but I don't remember how long I had it.
Please excuse the look on my face as I am clearly trying to imitate my father. If you've ever met my dad then you'll know where I get my sense of humor from. I'm sure I'm making that weird scrunchy, cringy face because I don't want to drop the eggs on myself while juggling. Obviously, I didn't do a very good job because I"m already stepping forward to grab the eggs. :) Good try though! :)

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Virginia Tech Makes Me Angry

You know what? I'm pisssed. I've been reading some of my regular blogs and all anyone can say about the Virginia Tech killings is, "My heart goes out to those that were affected." I wasn't there. I don't know anybody who attends that school. I am affected. I AM AFFECTED. If you aren't affected by it, then where is your head? There are 32 victims dead.

One day you wake up and it's a pretty normalish day. You have a pop quiz in your Sociology 102 class, but you're comfortable with the material so it's no biggie. You're sitting next to the cute guy who also happens to be a Sociology major. It's still pretty early in the morning by college student standards so your'e not really focusing on what the teacher's saying. You heard something about picking partners for groups projects just as the cute guy next to you catches you staring at him. Luckily, he takes that as a sign that you want to be partners, so everything is okay. Just as you are told to break into groups to discuss your assignment the door bursts open and a gun starts firing. Every muscle and fiber of your entire being seizes up and you react by throwing yourself onto the floor of the class room. You knocked over a desk, but at this point, it doesn't matter. The teacher was hit and you think a student two seats away was hit as well. You can't scream or think at this point. All you want is get out of this room alive. You keep thinking how you want to apologize to your mom for being mad at her the last time you talked to her on the phone. The gun continues to thunder and echo off the walls reverberating the sound in your eardrums. You hope that you'll survive this shooting so you can ask that guy out on a date. The noise of the gun fires of several more rounds for what you're sure is hours. It's a an unending noise and panic which you can't react to. The whole time you're down on the floor and hidden behind the desk, you're praying that the next shot won't be you. You're praying that the man behind the metal, isn't looking to make the whole room red. From where you lie now, there are puddles of blood and splashes of burgundy all over the walls and floor. Tears well up in your eyes, but they're trapped as if they know that the sound will disturb the chaos.

Everything stops. Every single thing just stands still in that room for an eternity. There is no movement for minutes. When you lift your head up everything is indeed over. That final crash you heard was that man. That young, heartless man is there on the floor. You're positive it's him, even if you only got a few seconds to process his figure. You recognize the gun. Slowly, and with the effort of someone carrying an anvil, you stand. You scan the room and realize that you are the only survivor. By the grace of the powers above, you are alive. You stand there with the blood rushing to your head and the feeling in your legs giving way and realize that you are living.

The S.W.A.T. team rushes in towards you. At first they point the gun towards you until they realize the gunman lies beneath them. All you can do is stare and focus on the blood and the confusion. It all happened so quickly and so slowly that there is nothing left to process. You can't speak or breath anymore. You will never be able to erase this day and this tragedy from your mind.

So, when people say, "My heart goes out to those who were affected." I was affected. I was not there, but I was affected. 32 people died yesterday because of a madman. I don't know his story and I'm not sure that I want to. Massacres and tragedies like this are publicized for the entertainment of the Nation and the entire world. It's disgusting to think that at the time this was happening, before the second round of shootings was over, there was live footage. LIVE footage for a campus killing so big that the president of the United States of America visited to offer condolences and wisdom. Every incident prior to this is just as grotesque and tragic. Those incidents have been catalysts for people who have not learned or would not try to learn, how to express themselves. Those people can see these inwardly depressed people on television and think to themselves, "Hey, I'm having a bad time at life and I should definitely let people know it in a way that leaves a mark." These people are worthless in the sense that they think they are the only people to ever experience life in such a way. How presumptuous are you to think that you're the only person to have feelings of depression, anxiety, or isolation in a world with millions and millions of people.

I am hurting for these students, faculty, family, and friends that have to feel this situation first-hand. It saddens me to think we live in a world where schools are no longer miniature sanctuaries. You can't look over your shoulder ever time you heard a loud noise, but who knows what's going to happen next. Nobody knows. Bottom line here...give all you've got to every person you meet. There is absolutely not sense in trying to hold a piece of you back or trying to act superior because you feel you should. Who knows what would have happened if this guy had made some genuine friends and found out that people care about people? Who knows? Do you know?

Sunday, April 08, 2007

5 Weird Things About Me

Alright, I've seen this meme floating around the internet and I've been trying to figure exactly what people would consider weird about me. Granted, people consider a lot of things weird about me, but really, these are things that they wouldn't necessarily know in the first place.

5 Weird Things About Me

1. I look for connections in everything. For instance, if I see a row of numbers and I try to find a way to connect them so they make sense. If I'm cashiering, I try to make one transaction "fit" with the next one some how. If two different people buy bananas and apples right after one another, I try to ring them up the same way so they match. I do that a lot so I can keep myself busy. It's the same way with colors. I see material or clothes or beads, or leaves and start matching it to other things in my mind. Maybe that leaf matches a tablecloth I have, or that weed goes really well with that DVD player. I don't know, it's habit forming, I suppose.

2. I am very specific about salsa. By specific, I mean that I will only eat Tostitos Restaurant Style Medium Salsa or my own homemade versions. I have tried many salsas and they all taste gross. Seriously, don't try to get me to eat a salsa that has not been pre-approved by me. It's gross and I won't eat it. If you want to keep your hands, don't dip into my salsa without asking, first. Someone did that to me once and I don't think I've ever really liked her the same since...........

3. I have a very intense fear of seeing my own blood. Actually, just today, I cut my thumb with a Cutco knife and I almost passed out. This cut didn't require stitches or anything, but seeing the blood made me panic. I think this stems from the time I hit my head on the coffee table when I was 3. The only thing I remember about that whole incident is blood, two random people in my house, and the doctor stitching up my eyebrow at the hospital. Looking at other people's blood is just icky, so don't ask me if I want to see your cuts.

4. I have a very unique laugh. Maybe it's not that unique, but I have heard people compare it to Woody the Woodpecker. While it's not unknown that I laugh like a chipmunk, what is unknown, is that it highly offends me when someone tries to imitate my laugh. This, to me, is a very personal part of a human and making fun of or imitating is just seems like you're mocking who I am. It's a part of me so deal with it or laugh louder. :)

Drum rolll for the last and weirdest thing about me.....

5. I like to smell my dogs' ears. I think it started because I have always like rubbing my face on Maven's ears because they're so soft. She has a very distinctive smelly dog ear smell as does Abby. Now, I smell them just because. Besides, they sniff my ears. Don't let them get too close to yours because they definitely like ears.

*As a prize for making is to the bottom of the post, and assuming you clicked my links, who is it that's laughing in #4? *

Friday, April 06, 2007

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yup, today I make my mark on the world. Today I have been alive for a quarter of a century. Woohoo! That's something to celebrate.

Two nights ago I went out for a Friend's going away party. These photos are evidence that I had a good time. Kristen and I were being goofy and I just couldn't handle the pressure. It was nice to be inside while the snow was coming down hard outside.

After we left Sebago, we needed to take a picture in the park across the street. It was late and snowing and BEAUTIFUL. And I had trouble operating the camera. That's Arlie, sandwiched between Kristen and I. He was very appreciative of that sandwhich, I'm positive.

I hope everyone has as good a Friday as I"m going to. :)