Tuesday, January 12, 2010
So it's been five days since I posted. I've been so consumed with worrying about work that I haven't focused on much else. Thankfully, some of my worries have fallen away, but I always seem to replace them with new worries. I have many anxieties and I wish more than anything that I could let things go much better than I do. I would venture to say that I've "toughened up", as I was once told to do, which has helped me in dealing with difficult situations. However, I'm a highly sensitive person and I don't know how much more of this "toughening up" that I can handle. It's a daily task for me to try and grow in this area in order to perform my job better and I find it frustrating. Because I am some what sleep deprived right now, my mind is more at ease to wonder and think about these kinds of struggles. You remember how I was talking about writing in my journal? Well, I really want to write in there, but I've been keeping myself from doing that to keep from tainting it with evil things. I guess the point of my journal is to let my thoughts flow, but not to fill it with anger. I don't ever want to look back and see that part of it. I could always get another journal to purge my bad thoughts, but that would stress me out knowing that I have yet another journal to tend to. If all two of you don't mind listening to me working through my anxieties then this may be the place that I vent. Let me know what you think.